


Heroes of Battle

by kinoface



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Dungeons & Dragons, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-30
Updated: 2011-07-30
Packaged: 2017-10-29 02:11:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/314702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinoface/pseuds/kinoface
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arashi attempts to play Dungeons & Dragons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heroes of Battle

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this](http://que-decir.tumblr.com/post/8250959945/four-d6s-you-say-new-completely-ridiculous).

Jun came prepared, with pages of notes and an already-filled-out character sheet just waiting for stats to be plugged in, and Nino said he already knew what he was going to play; Sho was so impressed that he let them roll stats first. Ohno won the ensuing janken battle against Aiba but was more interested in looking at the art in the various handbooks strewn across the table, so Nino rolled for him.

When it finally came to be Aiba's turn, it took so long for Sho to explain the rules to him ("I don't get it—why not just roll three dice in the first place?" "It's better this way, Masaki, please just trust me") that by the time he actually started rolling, Jun had already finished his character sheet and Nino had gotten halfway through making one for Ohno.

When Sho was settled back into his place at the head of the table, Aiba rolled the four six-sided dice Sho had pressed into his hand. They clinked pleasantly as they hit the tabletop and landed respectively on a five, a three, a one, and a six. Aiba had no idea what that meant.

He looked up to ask for help, but Sho was now busy looking over Jun's character sheet.

"Reroll the one," Nino said, not looking up from the skill chart he was was filling out for Ohno.

Aiba did. He got another six.

Nino whistled. "Nice."

But when Aiba looked back to Sho, he was still busy with Jun. He was wearing the expression he always wore when thinking of how to put something delicately. "I'm not sure what I'm looking at," he told Jun carefully.

Jun smiled, patient. "What do you mean?"

"You're level one," Sho started.

Jun nodded. "Yes."

"But you have thirteen ranks in half your skills."

"Yes."

"And six feats."

"Yes."

"And a plus-four vorpal warfan."

Jun took his character sheet back and looked at it as if examining it for defects. "Is there a problem, Sho-kun?"

Across the table, Ohno nudged Nino who was sitting beside him. "I want to be this." He pointed at a small, blue-skinned character in the book he'd been staring into. "And also an orc."

Nino blinked. "An aquatic orc— what, no. I already made you a halfling."

Ohno stared, his expression a mix between pleading and bewildered.

"Oh-chan," Nino tried, "our campaign isn't even underwater."

Ohno's face delved into a full-on pout.

Nino sighed, long-suffering, and reached over to turn a few pages in the book. "What about a water orc? They can at least breathe on land."

Back at the head of the table, Jun's voice was steadily increasing in volume. "What do you _mean_ I can't play this character? I got everything from official sources!"

"Maybe we should just stick to core," Sho said, the vein in his neck bulging tellingly as he tried to keep his voice calm.

"You should have set that rule _before_ you told us to start thinking about characters," Jun snapped.

Sho's temper finally bubbled over, his voice raising as he snatched the character sheet from Jun's hands. " _You_ should have confirmed your build with me before you filled out your character sheet."

Jun looked like he wanted to lash out in response, but he had nothing to say. Instead he slumped back into his chair and crossed his arms like a stubborn child. "Great," he huffed, "now I have to start from scratch. It took me _three days_ to perfect that character."

Nino handed him the half-filled character sheet he'd originally made for Ohno. "You can be a halfling bard."

Jun scowled dismissively, then narrowed his eyes at the character sheet Nino was currently working on. "What's that?"

"An aquatic orc," Ohno said, not looking up from the sketch he was already making of his character.

"A water orc," Nino corrected.

"A water orc," Ohno repeated, smiling and nodding.

Jun turned to glare daggers at Sho, who looked about two seconds away from bashing his head against the table. "Satoshi," he said slowly, "you can't be a water orc."

"Why not?" Nino asked, defensive on Ohno's behalf.

"Because we've decided to only use the core rulebooks."

"Oh come on," Nino scoffed, "you're not banning Jun's character because it's not core. You're banning it because it's broken."

" _Broken_?" Jun repeated, barely holding back from indignant screeching.

"I want to be an aquatic orc," Ohno cut in, pouting.

"Oh-chan, _water_ orc."

"I want to be a water orc."

"If Leader gets to play that, I get to play mine."

"Yours is ridiculous and broken."

"It is not _broken_. It is built entirely from official sources."

"Yeah, official sources that were printed just to appease min-maxers and power-gamers like you."

"Oh, so your half-orc barbarian isn't min-maxed?"

"At least it's not pulled together from half a dozen variants and obscure back-issues of _Dragon_."

"I only used _three_ variants, thank you very much."

"If you two don't shut up, I'm not even going to let you use prestige classes."

"What's a prestige class?"

"Don't worry about it for now, Oh-chan."

"Sho-kun, let's compromise. What if I keep _some_ of the variants I used?"

"Yeah, Sho-kun, what if his character is only _half_ as over-powered?"

"I swear, you two—"

From his corner at the back of the table, Aiba suddenly shouted, "Hey guys, look what I made!"

When everyone looked over, they saw that he'd used an array of multicolored polyhedra—they'd all been so busy bickering that no one had noticed him leaning over the table and snatching everyone's dice—to create an expansive, somewhat lopsided but still oddly impressive rainbow.

They stared, silent, as Aiba beamed proudly.

Ohno was the first to speak. "Cool rainbow, Aiba-chan."

Aiba nearly swooned. "Thanks, Leader!"

Ohno went back to sketching, and Aiba went back to tinkering with the dice. Nino blinked at Sho expectantly, but before Sho could say anything, Jun cleared his throat and casually reached across the table for a blank character sheet.

"I'll come up with something new," he said coolly, "and Leader can have his water orc."

Sho exhaled in a puff, visibly relieved. "Thank you, Jun." Then he turned to Aiba, his face instantly brightening in a smile. "Ready to roll your stats, Masaki?"

Aiba looked up so excitedly that he knocked over the dice-tower he'd begun to assemble. "Nino helped me roll the first one!"

"Excellent. What did you get?"

Aiba looked down at the four dice he'd set aside and counted to himself quietly. "Twenty," he answered.

"Seventeen," Nino said as Sho's smile faltered. "You drop the three, Aiba-chan."

"Ah, I remember now," Aiba said, "drop threes."

Nino opened his mouth to correct him, then thought better of it and looked back to the character sheet he was hunched over. Aiba turned instead to Sho, who had his elbows propped on the table and was rubbing at his temples. "Just roll," Sho groaned.

Aiba scooped up the dice, grinning. "Okay, Sho-chan! Boy, this game is pretty complicated, huh?"

"It is," Ohno agreed, at the same time that Nino muttered, "It is with you guys."

"I sure am glad I'm playing with all of you, though."

"Me too, Masaki," Sho sighed. "Me too."


End file.
